whorville: I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life
snarg: truth or dare more like preform a strange sexual act or tell me who you like
jakemalik: me and my dog type each other messages sometimes
It’s nice to know that other people did not use their weekends to their advantages and are sitting on a Sunday night/Monday morning weeping silently to themselves because they’re such idiots and they have finals in like 7 hours
partybarackisinthehousetonight: pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
30casterlyrock: If you plant a block of Ramen noodles in the ground and water it with Bud Lite it will grow into a college student.
whichjosephine: girls just wanna have fun(ds for university)
jedwardscookie: attains: attains: if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
snorlaxatives: legalize peruvian puff peppers
is it even possible for your crush to like you back? like is that an actual thing that happens to people because honestly i think it’s an urban myth
My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re more brave than I am.